I should note that I've had to give many, many, many presentations in many different business environments (in front of my companies, pitching investors, new biz pitches, etc.) and I learned a long time ago that confidence is crucial. Almost every time I practiced the best man speech I stuttered quite often, and almost on the same words every time. But come game time, it almost always goes smoothly. Always found that a bit odd. Maybe I just get into sort of flow states and just roll with it.
I've always wondered if a little alcohol would help here. But I'm so habituated to avoiding these situations I haven't had the opportunity to experiment.
When I am forced to speak to a room full of people it's usually spur of the moment. If I know exactly what I'm talking about, I tend to talk too fast. When I'm unsure of myself or how to phrase things, my stuttering is almost completely debilitating even when I'm controlling my rate of speech. I figure alcohol could help in both situations by keeping me relaxed and more focused.
I've stuttered all my life and still do, far less noticeably now. I've largely overcome it through mental will and practice. Speech therapy teaches you a bunch of tricks and techniques, practice and repetition eventually makes them second-nature. For me, it mostly came to becoming aware what your body is doing during a block -- you're always aware you're having a block, it's harder to notice the tension in specific muscles. Once you learn to recognize it, you can back off for a sec, let the tension dissipate, then approach it again. It's a terribly slow impatient process at first, but just like any skill, you practice it and you get better at it. Eventually you float in and out of Flow state.
It's definitely changed me... like any skill you practice, it makes you far more disciplined. I feel I'm more patient. I do have scars, and it does sometimes come back, but if I was able to largely overcome that through mental effort and determination, a lot of other things feel far less daunting. Builds a sense of resiliency and gumption.
But back to alcohol, it's not just your physical skills that get sloppy, it's your mental skills too. I'll go out for a social drink, but sloppy drunk is reserved only for kareoke. The it-doesn't-happen-while-singing bit is true.
> I figure alcohol could help in both situations by keeping me relaxed and more focused.
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I do not stutter; I find that alcohol distorts control and introduces uncertainty - for me it is the opposite of liquid confidence. Alcohol helps to relax, its great for social settings where I can be overly analytic or speak with too much force, but in a debate or speech setting the clarity of mind lets me bring all my faculties to bear.
So in short, I don't find that relaxed and focused is an effect, just relaxed. If that helps with your stuttering then go for it
you should try l-theanine and see if that works at all, should give you the calmness of having drank a lot of green tea -
without any of the caffeine of green tea and without the toxicity of alcohol
Can you share some techniques? I've found the opposite.. Come game time on the phone especially, it is difficult. I stutter frequently and block for long extended periods.
For one, breathe. Before, during, after. Breathe. Settle yourself (I meditate daily as well). Personally, I think I get caught up when I try to read word for word scripts, so I always give myself a general blueprint of what I want to say but allow myself room for improv. I also tend to do my practice speeches way faster than the real ones, which I also think is the opposite of what most people experience. I pause a lot (and, again, breathe) during speeches, let things sink in for both the audience and myself. That's about it. Oh, I try to get everyone laughing early on. It settles the nerves in almost any situation.
Hi! Fellow stutterer here :) Since university, my stutter got a lot better, especially when explaining things, or when talking with friends, but I still struggle a lot at counters or in interviews. I've been seeing a psychologist lately (speech therapy didn't help) and he adviced me to practice daily reading aloud and meditating, the goal being letting the brain do the talking without thinking about it or intervening/struggling . Do you follow any similar daily routine? Any exercises to advice?
I make it a point to talk to a stranger at least once a day. The person in line in front of me, the barista, store clerk, whomever. It has helped me tremendously. Meditation is also great.
Try making a few calls before the important one to break the ice a bit. Another trick is to start the conversation in an unconventional way, so you don't have time to predict what you're going to say (and anticipate the blocking).
What really worked for me was to force myself to _never_ replace words and to accept that I will stutter at times.
I also have a silly trick for overcoming a prolongation. When I'm stuck, I voice the first sound of the word, then take a short silent rest, and continue with the rest of the word. For instance, "f...ailure". Knowing that I can plough through any prolongation and still be understood has reduced them tremendously and lowered my anxiety. I'm not saying this trick will work for everyone, and I haven't seen it in any of the books.
Unlike the author, I think there's nothing wrong with apologizing for a stutter. That's a useful tactic because it brings the issue out in the open, instead of putting all that effort into hiding it. I'll apologize in advance, just to lower my stress level.
I think many of us end up reinventing the same techniques through trial and error. I too do a similar technique for blocks.
Completely agree that there's nothing wrong with apologizing for it. It lays it all out instead the other party wondering why you are nervous, or think you are hiding something. Finding the appropriate time to bring it up has always been a challenge. I sometimes will do a fake stutter, and bring it up after that so I have more control of the situation.
I wonder if Toastmasters could help. I don't stutter but I am painfully shy so giving speeches was always a nightmare. After giving a few speeches at Toastmasters I simply didn't care anymore and did OK speeches without too much stress.
