Being a parent to two kids, I can definitely see the 'evolution of rationalization' taking place as kids grow older. Your child will feel angry about certain events, or about other people and so forth for whatever the reasons, but usually, it's simply because they are hungry or feeling tired.
What's interesting is when you observe how they are trying to find out reasons why they are upset, when basically, it's their instinct/emotion that caused them to get upset. So you will notice the lack of consistency or relevance of their evidence in backing up their argument.
But this changes gradually as they grow older. They become more logical and more consistent. I think this is what most adult, or smart individuals learn to do as well.
It amazes me everyday to find myself rationalizing so many things and at the same time, persuading others using the same logic, when the other part of my brain secretly acknowledge/recognize that I'm making it sound all logical and trying to get others approval for my own sense of security.
Your observation of kids blaming events or people for their 'bad' feeling, when they are actually hungry or tired is spot on. However this kind of causal relationship exists in far more subtle and extensive ways and stays operational all your life! Examples from research: judges give harsher sentences right before lunch vs. right after lunch. You are less willing to help others when you are cold. The list goes on and on.
Your kids becoming 'more logical and more consistent' is only them becoming so good at rationalizing and explaining their rationalization that you believe them. In fact it is still being hungry that made them lash out.
I am absolutely terrible at noticing when I rationalize things in this way, and I think a big cause of it is that I spend most of my day stuck in a world of ideas and abstractions that keep me from even feeling hunger sometimes.
Working on balancing that out is what I consider one of my primary challenges as I enter my thirties. I hear meditation can help, but does anyone here have any other tips?
> Your child will feel angry about certain events, or about other people and so forth for whatever the reasons, but usually, it's simply because they are hungry or feeling tired.
It's amazing how much this affects our own behavior as adults, too.
It is my own recognition that I will not be correct or make right decisions that leads me towards faith in long-term knowledge building: on any given day I will most likely make a bad decision, but in the aggregate of many days, like any other practiced skill, I will be able to recognize mistakes, correct course, and develop a way to "practice out" or "systematize out" a bad habit.
What's interesting is when you observe how they are trying to find out reasons why they are upset, when basically, it's their instinct/emotion that caused them to get upset. So you will notice the lack of consistency or relevance of their evidence in backing up their argument.
But this changes gradually as they grow older. They become more logical and more consistent. I think this is what most adult, or smart individuals learn to do as well.
It amazes me everyday to find myself rationalizing so many things and at the same time, persuading others using the same logic, when the other part of my brain secretly acknowledge/recognize that I'm making it sound all logical and trying to get others approval for my own sense of security.